Good news

Good news this morning, when I called the clinic to find out why I can't start this cycle it turned out that there was a miscommunication between the nurse and myself, I said a date but I also said a day and she thought my period was due a week earlier than it was. Phew. I knew I wasn't going mad!
So that's fantastic news, I can start this next cycle, now I just need lots of good luck! :-)

What that does mean though is that I need to get the clinic to fax a prescription over to my doctor so I can start taking Norethisterone now. I'm going to be taking that for about a week and a half whilst stopping taking DHEA. Te the FSH drug I'm going to be taking this time is Merional, so a slightly different drug regime so fingers crossed all the way I say!

My next appointment

Finally the 24th has arrived and I now get to find out what the next stage of my IVF journey is.
I've wondered whether the doctor would recommend another course of IVF or say it wasn't worth it and it's been on my mind a lot. Of course I've been hoping they'll say it's ok for another course, especially as the last course didn't make it to egg collection, I kinda feel I've been a little short changed.

Anyway fortunately my doctor has recommended another course of IVF, this time with slightly different drugs so it's all systems go again.

She has prescribed norethisterone to take on the lead up to my period which will also then delay my period a couple of days and then I'll start my injections again, sounds good to me.

I then had three hours to kill before my nurse appointment to discuss my drugs and look at what needed ordering and then I was back there again. The nurse I saw, who I can't say I get the best vibes from, asked me when my next period was due and promptly told me it was too late to start this cycle and I 'd have to wait another month.
To say I was furious would be a massive understatement, in those three hours I'd really got my hopes up, 'd emailed my boss keeping her updated and I was ready for this. After the last failed attempt and waiting around for a few weeks I just want to get on with things and move further along my journey, I just want this all to happen and I'm getting impatient with all the waiting.

I left the clinic feeling really down and upset that I'd have to wait another month yet at the same time I kept playing over in my mind what the doctor had said, I laid in the bath trying to relax yet by the time I got out I was fuming.
I know for sure that the doctor told me I could start this cycle and I just can't understand why the nurse would say different. I don't feel I have a great rapport with this nurse but even so, she should still do what the doctor says shouldn't she?
I'm going to have to call in the morning and find out whats going on, please let me start this cycle.

It's been a while

Its been a little while since my last post, I've meant to keep up with it and keep everyone up to date with whats going on but after the disappointment of the last IVF converted to IUI I didn't really know what to say.

 Needless to say it really was a negative result and now I'm just waiting till 24th for another appoitnment back at the clinic to see what happens next.
In the meantime I just have to get on with life as best I can. Eat as healthy as I can, do as much exercise as is good for me and generally just try to relax and stay calm.

A lovely day out

I had a really lovely day yesterday. It was so nice to meet up with a friend, catch up and just be normal with someone.
We had a lovely wander around a very picturesque historic town and then settled somewheere warm and cosy for lunch. It really was lovely to see her and I hope we can meet up again soon.
For now though it's back home for me and now I have to get ready to go back to work after a month off! I'm definitely not looking forward to that. :-( Plus I'm having to go away on a trip to a place I really really don't like. I guess I just have to grin and bare it.

A definite negative

As I thought, negative. I know my period still isn't due for a couple of days but this test is supposed to be able to test up to 6 days beforehand and it still says negative. That's a real blow and very upsetting but I also have to keep it all together because if I breakdown now who's going to pick me up again, who's going to pick up the pieces?? No one! :-( So I owe it to myself and my sanity to keep strong and keep myself together......it's not going to be easy though I don't think.

Today I'm meeting up with a friend from work, I don't really socialise with people from work and I'm a very private person really but every now and then you meet someone you really click with and make plans to see out of work. I've just been away with her and it was really hard not to let on what I was doing, I wanted to but I just can't bare the thought of my private life being banded around the back of an aircraft. I did let on that I had big plans for this year and funnily enough she then had a dream about what it might be. She came up with have a baby, adopt a baby, sex change (!) or new business. I'd love to tell her and be excited with someone about it all but I'm scared to as well, not scared to tell her the details just scared that my private business will suddenly become works public business.
Over a few texts I said I'd maybe tell her over a coffee but now the day has arrived I'm not sure I can tell her, I wonder if she'll ask.

I guess it's a negative then!

I don't want to be disappointed but I know I need to do the test again. I have no symptoms at all :-( and perhaps I should wait till Friday but if work wasn't an issue I could do but it is so I need to do a test earlier so I know for sure.

I'm feeling pretty deflated really, if I'm honest with myself I know it hasn't worked this time and a part of me just thinks why not? It works for so many people, why can't it work for me. I've had so many different things be so hard for me is it really too much to ask to have this?

My aunt came over today and I mentioned to her about buying all of my donors sperm, he does only have 4 samples left, and bringing them over to the UK for future use, I also spoke about the test and we decided I'd go and buy some more reliable tests from Boots. I paid £2 for 15 tests in the Internet and I'm now paying £11 for 2 tests! Someone somewhere is making a packet I think!

So test in hand I decide tomorrow I'll do it, two days before I'm supposed to and two days before I'm due to go back to work.
I'm trying rally hard not to let it take over my life but its really hard at times.

Bank Holiday Monday

It's bank holiday Monday so the last day of the Easter weekend and I feel like I've done nothing.
I haven't really though, I've been to the allotment and had a lovely lunch with my family and had some great relaxing time but I haven't been out and about anywhere in the evening with anyone and that's a shame. One friend suggested last week about going to see a band at some point but when it came to it they clearly weren't up for it! :-( It does upset me that I feel I'm wasting my life away doing nothing but its the way it's always been, sadly I've never been the social animal I've wanted to be.

Yesterday my lodger finally suggested going out but of course I was busy with my family. I'd just had the last two nights of doing nothing and let's face it the last four weeks doing nothing and the one night there's something I could do I'm busy! I'm glad we had the dinner though, as well I think I've got to the point that the less I do the less I want to do! :-(

I did go out to a couple of 'open houses' today though, it's festival time in my town and lots of artists open houses which are always quite interesting, more fl for the bossy around the houses though if I'm honest!