A trip to London and the CRGH

After much research and looking at different success rates and fertility forums I've decided on the CRGH up in London for another opinion. This is going to be my third opinion! A part of me wonders if I really am flogging a dead horse here, I mean really what can they tell me new? How can my hormone levels possibly be different and therefore better?
I had an appointment today with Dr Irfana Koita-Kazi, I've chose to have an appointment with her based purely on her expertise with women of suboptimal ovarian reserve which I believe is me. The appointment was at 12.00 and it's a two and a half hour journey to get there, it sounds crazy doesn't it but they have such great success rates that I have to give it a go.

Dr Irfana was very nice and very optimistic which is nice to see, one thing she did say that I think will always stay with me, when I told her that the last clinic told me that I may be entering the menopause she replied we were all entering the menopause! I thought that was really nice of her and really optimistic, that's what I need.
Dr Irfana described to me Natural Cycle IVF, this is where no drugs are used and you rely purely on the body for selecting the one good quality egg and going from there. Of course there are pros and cons but it's another avenue to look at which is what I wanted. The doctor at the last clinic said it was my egg quality that was the problem and Dr Irfana said that when you do regular IVF and produce multiple eggs the egg quality could diminish and so by focusing on just one egg there is a far better chance of a good quality egg. Lets hope so.
She explained that there are chances when at different stages along the way the cycle may not continue, either the follicle contains no egg, or the follicle isn't growing, or if they do get an egg then it may not fertilise and if it does it may not continue to grow for three days and if it does it may not implant. Lots and lots of ifs but I'm willing to give it a go, I'm willing to put my trust in someone with more optimism. :-)
The doctor went on to explain that on the second day of my period I would need to come up to the clinic for the usual blood test and scan to check follicles and hormone levels then from day 7/8 I would need to come up everyday until the follicle reaches the desired size when i would then have a day off before needing to be at the clinic again for egg collection, then hopefully if an egg is collected and fertilised it would be transferred back in three days later. Ok......lets get started!

Oops first though I need to transfer the two vials of sperm I have on ice in Brighton.

Next attempt

It's been a relatively quiet week after the family left and I've been looking forward with great hope to my next period (now that does sound mad doesn't it?!) to see if I can start treatment again. I'm even more determined now, I'm determined that one way or another I'm going to have a child and god help anyone who stands in my way! 

Today I went along for yet another blood test and scan and they rang me late this afternoon with the results.
My FSH is 16.7 which is too high for treatment but as well as that they said that another hormone they tested, LH I believe, was getting quite high and they wouldn't recommend treatment with those values anyway, the nurse then went on to say that my hormone levels were indicative of entering the menopause! What?? I'm 40 FFS! And really do they really think that was the best way to tell someone over the phone? I was really shocked. My LH is something that hasn't been mentioned before and basically I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Of course she said it didn't necessarily meant the menopause but hey the damage is done now, the seed of worry has been planted and now I have to try and process that! Thanks a lot guys!! :-(( I'm really not happy with them at all and of course I then started to think perhaps I sould have just gone for treatment last month after all, at least then my FSH was a little lower, from what they were saying this afternoon it may now just be too late! :-((

On that note I've decided to change clinics. I like the one I'm at, I do, at times (!), but I just don't think that really they're looking at the whole picture and I'm not sure they're that interested in me as a person, I think it's just facts and figures to them. Not all of us fit into a mould though and sometimes miracles do happen, just not there!